Kimberly Frey Consulting

The holiday season and end of the year is upon us. All around us are images of people enjoying the most wonderful time of the year. And while this can be a season of joy, for many it is actually a season of struggle, loneliness, and despair.

According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA) in 2023, 89% of adults shared that they feel stressed during the holidays, and 41% shared they have higher stress levels during this time of year versus other times of the year. Furthermore, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) also reports that 64% of people with a mental health diagnosis feel their conditions are worse during the holiday season. 1

In addition to a large majority of people managing increased stress during the holiday season, there is a also a significant percentage of people who struggle during the holiday season due to the death of a loved one in their life. 2

So for those of you who are maybe feeling more stress and distress during this time of year, know that you are not alone. There are plenty of people who are experiencing similar feelings, including me.

Back in 2021, I wrote a blog post on holiday self-care. In this post, I focused on the concepts of guarding your schedule, not needing to get a gift for everyone, and not feeling pressured to attend events that cause you stress versus joy.

I recently revisited that post as I was preparing for the upcoming holiday self-care episode of my podcast, You Can Do It. A glaring omission I knowingly made was providing any tips on navigating grief during this time of year, even though it is something I have intimate knowledge of.

On November 28, 2018 I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my best friend of over 30 years. We referred to each other as our soulmates as there was no better description of who we were to each other. We met when we were only eleven years old, and she left us only a couple of months shy of her 45th birthday (even though she told everyone she was turning 29, just as she had said every year since actually turning 29). We were second mothers to each other’s children, and her family is my adopted family still to this day. We were all still grieving the loss of her father, my adopted dad, only five years prior. He too died too soon and unexpectedly, which made her loss even more profound.

Losing Chanda (pronounced “Shan-duh”) has been the most difficult loss I have ever experienced in a life that has seen more than its fair share. Losing her in the same month that is full of other joyful events (my birthday, my grandson’s birthday, and Thanksgiving) creates this big hole that overshadows these events every year – especially when Thanksgiving and the anniversary of her passing collide together as it did this year. Which is why I purposefully avoided talking about grief back in that 2021 post. Although I don’t miss her any less six years later, I am better able to navigate my grief now than I was then.

Which is why I wanted to be sure to include discussion around what self-care might look like for those who are grieving at this time of year when discussing holiday self-care this time. I personally know several people, too many really, who have lost either a child or a parent recently, so they are in their first holiday season without their loved one in their life. And there are others just like me who lost a loved one during this time of year, and that influence is deeply felt each year.

In my upcoming podcast episode, I bring on licensed mental health provider Chelsea Parker to provide us with advice and strategies for taking care of our mental health during the holiday season. You might remember me talking about Chelsea in my recent post about our fantastic women’s wellness events that we host together. Just as she provided valuable business mentorship for me when I first started out as a solopreneur, she shares her expertise on how to take care of your mental health during what is often a difficult time of year. I encourage you to check out the episode and benefit from her insight and empathy. ³

No matter if you are someone who struggles during this time of year or if you find yourself to be a merry little elf, finding ways to connect with others is a powerful way to support your mental health and nurture a positive life balance. I encourage you to find meaningful ways to do that in your life such as sharing your story with me in a 20 minute coffee chat.

I look forward to connecting with you. Remember, You Can Do It.

1. https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/mcleans-guide-managing-mental-health-around-holidays#:~:text=Keep%20Reading%20To%20Learn&text=A%202023%20survey%20by%20the,%2C%20anxiety%2C%20and%20substance%20misuse. ↩︎
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/202212/dealing-grief-during-the-holidays ↩︎
3. You Can Do It podcast also available on Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-can-do-it/id1782181882 ↩︎